Late Post – Music Mondays – The Rip

Despite all of the wonderful music and artists that exist out there today, no one/group has been able to overthrow Portishead as my top band. Though I was only diagnosed with bipolar II in October of 2013, I believe with certainty that I had been dealing with the disorder since my college years, if not earlier.  Given that bipolar II lives in the realm of depression, with bouts of hypomania, I gravitated toward Portishead as they seemed to convey some of my deepest feelings with much more clarity and accuracy than I ever could.

Additionally, their exhibition of musical talent and skill is just superior.  Not only are they amazing live (better than their recordings), they created a compilation of sounds that prompted the creation of an entirely new genre we know as down tempo.  Though their music may not be for everyone (one of my friends who never heard them said, upon sampling their music for the first time, that she wanted to slit her wrists), their talent is worth acknowledging and their uniqueness, at the time of their debut, was historical.

People who suffer from depression are addicted to their sorrow, and like most addictions, the relationship is detrimental and at the same time, masochistically fulfilling.  While in the doldrums, I often listened to depressing tunes.  One of the songs I played regularly and which often brought me to uncontrollable tears was this one.  Though melancholy, it is a beautiful song.  What it is about, I haven’t the slightest idea, but for some reason, her reference to a white horse makes me think this is about a drug addict.  Still, there were so many ways in which I could relate.  I listen now as I think about Luna, my dog.